The songs I make up for my kid

After yesterdays post about Norah pooping in her sleep I thought I would share the song I made up about this momentous event. It started out a little something like this:

Automatic

Stinkomatic

Poops in her sleep

Then yesterday she kept pooping in the middle of her bottles (like a total of SIX poops throughout the day) so I added another verse:

Automatic

Stinkomatic

Poops while she eats

Anyway the two verses have now been put together into this lovely little ditty:

Automatic

Stinkomatic

Poops in her sleep

ah ah (insert a clap with each ah)

Automatic

Stinkomatic

Poops while she eats

ah ah (again insert claps)

And she poops while she sleeps

ah ah (clap clap!)

And she poops while she eats!

Norah absolutely LOVES this song. Her face lights up every time I sing it. Which sadly was all day because, lefts face it, it’s a pretty damn catchy song.

So there you have it. One of my many ridiculous songs that I make up and sing to my child. She loves them all no matter what they are about (obviously if she loves a song about her pooping habits). Maybe I’ll make a kids album with my songs about poop and bottles. What do you think? Don’t quit my day job right? HA!

This is how much my child does NOT cry

I’ve been told quite a bit from people at daycare that Norah never cries and what a great baby she is. Thank you for saying my child is an angel, which she is, she’s an awesome little girl.  But I would like to say for the record she will cry of extreme hunger or exhaustion. But this is not my point. My point is that when Norah woke up on Saturday morning and I went up to get her she smelled like a dirty hamster cage. You know that smell? Nasty pee and poo smell all mushed together in the wood chips at the end of the week. I thought “wow she sure did pee a LOT over night.” Yes, she did pee a lot but she also POOPED! Who knows what time she actually pooped but she was sitting in it long enough that she had some wicked diaper rash from it. Norah I love that you sleep though the night but PLEASE wake me up if you poop you pants! I felt so bad for her that day. We slathered her with the diaper cream all day and it was fine by Sunday but it was just so bad. The same thing happened again this morning! I don’t think she was sitting in it nearly as long this time because there isn’t as much redness as Saturday. But she’s still in pain. She does this gaspy thing while I’m changing her diaper, like she can’t breathe. Poor little girl.

Norah in her big girl clothes

Today we decided to dress Norah is real clothes because we were going out on errands. We normally just dress her sleepers. I guess I’m just lazy because I hate having to take off so many layers to change a diaper. I even send her to daycare in them and I think she’s the only kid there rockin’ her jammies all day. But I don’t think I really care. But anyway we put her in this cute outfit my mom gave her for Christmas and she looks SOOOOOOO grown up! Who knew? Here are some pictures of her modeling her big girl clothes.

Such a big girl!

We took Norah out today on the longest trip she’s been on. We left the house at 11am and didn’t get home until 4pm! First we went to the mall. She was awake for half of that trip. She’s never been awake while we’ve been in the store. She was all big eyes taking everything in. Then we went to Old Navy, BJ’s and Giant. Norah slept through all of those stores. It was almost 6 hours since her last bottle by the time we got her home and she didn’t even throw a fit! She’s such a good girl!

Then came the fun part. In the middle of her bottle while I was trying to burp her (sitting up on my knee) she did a massive poop. Well I had NO idea what I was in for when I went to change her! I took off her pants and felt something wet on my hand. Oh yes that’s right the poo went out the back. And not just a little bit I mean like ALL up her back. Looking back on it now I was still trying to burp her for a little bit after she pooped which means I was patting that into her back! Talk about mommy fail! Since she was such a mess we decided to do an impromptu bath. This went smoothly so I thought I was in the clear. Nope. I laid her on the changing table on the pack-in-play to dry her off and she peed in her towel. Ok, no big deal it’s not like she doesn’t do that after most baths. I get that cleaned up and I’m trying to put a diaper on her while she’s squirming around and she projectiles! I mean come on kid! Do you have anymore bodily functions to accost me with? That was the most traumatizing half hour of my life!

Right now she’s sleeping peacefully for the night and I’m hoping she sleeps in a little tomorrow since she had such a big afternoon. I know I’m sure exhausted and I wasn’t even the one who went through it all!